I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
