all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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