i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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