yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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