This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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