i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
