I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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