I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
