im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
