even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
