I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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