1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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