So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
