I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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