He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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