he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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