I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
