remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i drank out of a bidet.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got inside last night via doggy door
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
