Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize