Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
