Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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