is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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