Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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