we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
