Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Randomize
