If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Randomize
