I'm going to jail i love you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize