I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
