You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
