I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
