I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
