you turned your livingroom into a bong?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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