I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
