we're chasing vodka with high fives
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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