That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
