you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
