Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
