I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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