You're my little dorito
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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