ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
