theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
