I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When are your genitals available?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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