I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
