I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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