i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I think I won the penis lottery.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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