I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
