It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
