"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize