This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
