i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Congratulations! We have a period
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