we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
