I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
nutella sex= disaster
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
