Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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