Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
