Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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