It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
