I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize