the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
