After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
