I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
