I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My penis needs a shock collar
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
