When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
