***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
