I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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