he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
