i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
